


You Give Me Fever

by jaekayelle



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-17
Updated: 2003-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-29 07:34:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaekayelle/pseuds/jaekayelle
Summary: Mal is uncommunicative and stubborn. What else is new?





	You Give Me Fever

 

You Give Me Fever

## You Give Me Fever

### by Jae Kayelle

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Tim Minear, and Mutant Enemy own the characters. Karl is mine. Not sure I want to keep him either. No copyright infringement intended. No profit made from this work of fiction. Karl is my creation and may not be used without my permission. 

Spoilers: for Safe and a small mention of Ariel. 

He was gone. 

I woke up once during the night feeling uncomfortably hot and sweaty. My first thought was that the fever had returned. 

They say doctors make lousy patients - inferring that we don't have any patience, but in actuality I think it's because we are too aware of what happens to our bodies when we get sick, and then try to second guess the illness as it progresses. Self-doctoring. I know that's what I did but only after the fact. At the time I had refused to acknowledge that I'd caught the virus on Raknur. By the time that I was forced to admit I was ill I was half-unconscious on my feet. I don't recall much after that, apart from some hazy memories of the medicine woman Chara spooning some vile tasting stuff into my mouth while Malcolm hovered behind her. He had tried not to look anxious and failed miserably. I wish I could remember more. I wanted to know what he was thinking then and how he felt. I hated that I was the cause of upsetting him, but part of me was thrilled he had finally declared his feelings for me - without actually saying the words, of course. Malcolm is inflexible, obstinate, pig-headed, and maybe I should add stubborn? 

Waking up in that cot on Raknur to find him asleep with his head on my stomach was enlightening to say the least. He is a fairly tactile man. He put his arm around my shoulders even when I knew he did not like me, after he and Zoe rescued River and me from those backwoods townspeople intent on burning my sister at the stake like she was some kind of witch. The memory of nearly dying at their hands still haunts me but it's tempered by the wonderful feeling of awe when Malcolm and Zoe strode out of the shadows like heroes of legends. It was difficult to process at the time. Later, when he slung his arm around me and gazed down at me, I knew only that I liked him touching me, and was saddened by the fact that there was nothing personal in his touch. 

That was in the past, however, as we had just spent the night sleeping in one another's arms. We've come a long way in our relationship and, apparently, all it took for Malcolm to face the truth of his feelings for me was for me to come close to dying. 

The feverish waves of heat that woke me up had confused me. I didn't think I had had a relapse and yet it felt like the illness had returned without most of the symptoms. Malcolm hadn't stirred. I lay there gazing at him. He looked so young in repose with his long eyelashes fanning out across his cheekbones. I believe I simply fell asleep again after awhile. 

When I awoke again a short time ago he was gone, and I was left feeling bereft and still confused but stronger physically. I washed up and dressed and made my way, albeit slowly and shakily, to the kitchen, stopping briefly at the infirmary to check my temperature. 

Apparently I have good timing as breakfast was underway. We tended to come and go for our meals according to our individual schedules, but Mal liked us to all be together for dinner. This morning, however, it seemed most of the crew had arrived at the same time for breakfast. In fact, everyone was there except Kaylee, River and Mal. 

"Has anyone seen my sister?" I asked by way of announcing my presence. 

"Good to see you up and around, Doctor." Book got to his feet and lent support as I made my way to the table. "I believe Kaylee is teaching River about something mechanical in the engine room. Or possibly River is teaching Kaylee." 

"Sounds about right," I said, smiling at him as he waited until I was seated before returning to his own chair. 

"How are you feeling, Doctor?" asked Zoe. 

"About as strong as a breeze but getting better." In truth my temperature was still a bit higher than normal, which explained why I had felt so hot during the night. 

Jayne snorted. "You're even whiter'n a lily now." 

I ignored him. "Has anyone seen Malcolm?" 

"It's Malcolm now, is it? Ya used to call him Cap'n," Jayne teased. "I guess after sleepin' with him, ya should be on a first name basis." 

I felt my face begin to burn with embarrassment. Did everyone know Mal and I had spent the night together? Were they all thinking the same as Jayne? I summoned strength from someplace deep inside. 

"Yes, Jayne. We slept in the same bed and in each other's arms, but that's all we did." 

Looking mildly disappointed, Jayne said, "Mal must be slippin'. Used to be he'd fuck his partner till their eyes'd roll back in their head." 

"Speaking from personal experience are you, Jayne?" Wash asked and received a smack on the arm from his wife. She shot him a look that said, "Drop it." Did Zoe know something about Malcolm and Jayne? 

Jayne just smirked. 

I was horrified. Had Mal and Jayne been together at some point? Jayne? I thought Mal had better taste than that. Or perhaps it was a case of making do with whoever was handy. Even Jayne would look good to a man out in the black for weeks at a time. He was certainly attractive enough, if you could get past the garbage that often came out of his mouth, and the fact that he used his brute strength to get what he wanted. I don't suppose Mal would let him get away with that. 

"Mal is a gentleman. He knew I was ill. But wait until I'm back to my full strength. You had better invest in a pair of earplugs. It could get noisy in our rooms." 

Dear Lord. Had I really said that? 

Jayne got a glazed look in his eyes as his brain all too obviously provided a picture of Mal and me in the throes of ardent lovemaking. He stood up suddenly. 

"I'll just be..." he pointed vaguely toward the crew quarters and fled the room. 

I shuddered. 

Zoe, Wash and Book were looking at me with varying degrees of surprise. I blushed furiously and that phrase certainly applied right then. My embarrassment beat its way to the surface of my skin with a livid passion. Perhaps the fever was back? 

I cleared my throat. "Um, could someone tell me where to find Malcolm?" 

"He's on the bridge," Zoe told me. 

"Thank you." With a dignity that I did not feel, I stood up and made my way slowly out of the room leaving behind an awkward silence. 

# 

Mal sat in the pilot's seat. Well, sprawled is more like it. There was something odd about his posture but I couldn't put my finger on it, and as soon as I entered he heard me and straightened up. 

"Hi," I said for lack of anything else to say. Suddenly, I felt awkward and shy around him. 

He turned to look at me, his face expressionless. 

"How are you feeling this morning?" he asked. 

"Better." 

"Did I keep you awake last night?" There were faint circles under his eyes and he lacked his usual sparkle of energy. River said Mal's aura was filled with strength and force. That summed him up, all right, but right then he just seemed worn out. 

"You were a little twitchy." 

"You need your rest, Malcolm. Book told me yesterday that you didn't get enough sleep when I was ill." 

"I'm fine." 

I relented. He was stubborn and it was a minor point. I knew it was an argument I wasn't going to win. 

I sidled closer, reaching for him. Before I could touch him, he stood up and walked to the far side of the bridge where he leaned against a console and folded his arms across his chest. His expression was still unreadable. I tried again, going to him and attempting to put my hands on him. "It would have been nice to wake up with you still there." 

Again he eluded me, slipping by to return to the pilot's seat. He didn't sit down but stood there fiddling with instruments. 

"Mal?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Is...is something wrong?" 

"Not a thing." He turned and took a step away from me again. I reached out and grabbed his arm. He halted out of surprise more than me forcing him to stop. 

"I'm still a little wobbly. Please stop making me chase you all over the bridge." 

There was a flash of something in his eyes; something that looked like empathy but it was quickly replaced by annoyance. I abruptly let go of his arm. 

"Did I misread what happened last night? Was that merely a moment of pity for a "wounded" crewmember? Were you only fulfilling some misguided notion of your duty as Captain?" 

"Simon...no." 

"What was it then? On Raknur, when you lifted your head from where it lay on my stomach, I'm sure I saw an attraction to me in your eyes. Was I wrong? Do you feel nothing like that?" 

He seemed to wage a very lengthy inner battle. I glanced at the chronometer on a panel and saw that merely a few seconds had passed. Mal sighed and rested his weight on the console behind him. 

"I am attracted to you -- very much." 

"Then why are you avoiding me?" 

He did not answer. Instead he let his gaze go unfocussed and gripped the console tighter. 

"Talk to me, Mal." I wasn't above begging and would resort to it if it meant getting him to open up. 

He sank onto the pilot's seat and simply gazed up at me. His blue eyes conveyed a weariness that seemed to permeate his entire being. 

"What is it, Mal?" I asked softly. 

By way of reply he tugged gently on my hands, guiding me until I straddled him and sat on his lap. The position could have been very erotic, but neither of us seemed to feel like pursuing anything more sensual than just holding one another. My arms slid around his neck, as I leaned against him and he pulled me closer to his chest. After the initial novelty of this newfound closeness began to fade I realized that he felt warm. Make that hot - I placed my palm on his forehead. He wasn't quite burning up and his skin was dry, but his temperature was definitely above normal. 

My heart began to pound with fear. "Oh my god, Mal. You have a fever. Are there any other symptoms?" 

"Not so far," he said admitting at last that something was wrong, that he was feeling ill. Then he shrugged, "Well, a bit of a headache." 

"It could be the virus from Raknur." I started to get off him. "You must come to the infirmary and let me check you out." 

He kept his hands on my back and hip and held me to him. "No." 

"But, Malcolm, this could be serious." 

"In a couple of hours we'll be landing on Raknur's moon. We have a meeting there with a man who could provide us with a job and enough pay to keep us flying for months. I have to be at the meet. He's expecting me." 

"When did this come about?" 

"Karl contacted me by wave early this morning. That's why I left before you woke up. Believe me, I'd rather have stayed with you." 

"I thought we made enough money off the Ariel heist to keep us flying." 

His mouth twisted into a grin and his eyes sparkled with something of his usual humour. "Listen to you. My criminal mastermind." 

I blushed again. It was something I'd have to learn how to control. 

"Malcolm," I traced his jaw line with my forefinger. "Why do you have to meet this Karl person?" 

He sighed, the air seeping out of him and his shoulders sagging a little. "If we get this job we'll be sitting pretty for a long time. The money from Ariel will run out eventually. Could be years before we get another piece of luck like that." 

Years. One thing I had learned since River and I became fugitives was to take things one day at a time. The concept of years was now so foreign to me that it was difficult to readjust my thinking. 

"Can't Zoe go to the meet?" 

"She can and she will but Karl is expecting us both. He's particular about such things." 

"Then let me go, too." 

"No." 

"I can keep an eye on you. If you start to show more symptoms I'll be able to treat them immediately. Maybe we can beat the illness before it gets out of hand." I paused. "I don't want you to get sick at all, Mal." 

At first he kept his face expressionless but then he summoned a smile and lifted a hand to brush the hair off my forehead. I was so relieved at his gesture that I ignored the tiny worm of doubt that he was only trying to distract me. I leaned against him as he wrapped his arms around me. Resting my chin on the top of his head I closed my eyes and we stayed like that for a few moments. Then Mal rubbed my back and loosened his hold on me. 

"Sounds like you can't decide what to call me. You keep switchin' back and forth between Mal and Malcolm." 

"I like them both," I replied. 

I sat back to look searchingly at him. He was obviously still tired after what had to have been a restless night. I know I hadn't slept all that soundly, only waking up the once but aware that I was in a light stage of slumber. It hadn't been exactly restful. 

"Thank you for watching over me on Raknur. You helped save my life." 

Mal's eyes dropped. When he looked up it was with an expression that was almost bashful. I was stunned. Never in my wildest daydreams would I have thought him capable of that, but there was a reticence about him that convinced me I was seeing the real Malcolm Reynolds. I thought of something else I'd observed about him. As big and strong and full of masculine pride as he was he possessed an almost prudish attitude about sex that was endearing. I'd seen his face redden with embarrassment when he accidentally walked in on Zoe and Wash in the midst of a hot and heavy make out session. When Kaylee spoke matter-of-factly about Inara's clients Mal often looked uncomfortable at the girl's forthrightness. He wasn't good at hiding his reactions. 

My curiosity got the better of me. 

"Did you ever sleep with Jayne?" 

His eyes widened briefly as he searched my expression for something; when he found what he was looking for he glanced away. 

"You've been talking to him." 

"Well, actually, he did say something at breakfast." 

"I'll kill him." Mal started to get up but I didn't move, putting my hands on his chest and got him to stay put. If had really wanted to stand he could have easily displaced me from his lap. 

"It's all right. He was crude but I'm getting used to him." I hesitated before saying more. "I know very little about your private life. It's none of my business with whom you've had relations but I want to know all there is to know about you. Unless you think it's best that I don't know. I mean, maybe I'm going too fast. We haven't talked about this...thing between us, this connection. I'm suddenly not sure where we stand." 

"Simon." 

"What?" 

"You talk too much." He grinned to soften the words. "You can ask me anything. If I can answer you I will." He gazed up at me, baring his soul more than I'd ever seen. 

A lump formed in my throat. 

"Thank you," I whispered. 

"I'm not an easy man to be around," he said. "I've held back this long from telling you how I feel about you because I was afraid that once you found out what kind of man I really am you'd run." 

"You thought I'd leave Serenity?" At his hesitant nod, I continued, "This is home for River and me. We're not leaving. As for you and I, we're on the cusp of something wonderful here." 

"The cusp, huh?" His eyes became hooded and his smile secretive. Then he slid his hands to my hips and held me down while he ground our pelvises together. His growing erection felt like steel through two pairs of pants as it rubbed against my skin. "Yup. Feels like a cusp to me." 

Amazingly I didn't blush again, probably because my blood surged downward to pool in my groin as I hardened rather noticeably. Taking his face between my palms, I lowered my mouth to him and brushed my lips against his. At my touch he tilted his head up and pushed back, his tongue sliding out to trace the outline of my lips. I opened to him, letting him in. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and stroked it alongside mine while his hands were busy sliding up and down my back. I decided I could get lost in this. I could do this with him forever. 

"Ah-hem!" 

We jerked apart like startled cats. Wash stood in the hatchway grinning like a fool. 

"I believe I'm the pilot of this ship. No offence, Captain, but you fly like a wounded duck. We should be coming up on the moon about now. Close enough for me to do my thing." 

Mal gave me a rueful grin and helped me climb off his lap. When he stood he took a second to steady himself. I glanced at Wash to see if he had noticed but he gave no sign of it. I stepped up to Mal's side and pulled his arm around my waist, giving him support without making it obvious that's what I was doing. He briefly squeezed his fingers against my side to acknowledge his gratitude and we left the bridge. Wash was whistling some obscure tune behind us. 

"If you come with me to the infirmary I can give you something for your headache." 

"And shoot me full of sedative?" 

"I wouldn't do that, Mal." I was hurt that he would even think that. "You were implicit about your need to be at the meeting. I understand that." 

"Sorry." He pressed his lips in my hair. "Something to get rid of this gorram headache would be good. Thanks." 

"Is it bad?" 

"I've had worse. Just give me something that'll keep my mind clear." 

"I have something that should help." 

# 

We were still in the infirmary when Kaylee came in. She seemed uneasy and wouldn't look either of us in the eye. 

"Is something wrong, Kaylee?" I asked. Mal sat back down on the exam table and fidgeted. I looked from him to her. "Did I miss something while I was resting yesterday?" 

"Yeah...uh, I just came by to say again that I hope you two are happy together. I mean that." Her voice quavered and she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet. To my surprise tears formed in her eyes and one escaped to trickle down her cheek. 

"Kaylee," I began, taking one step towards her. 

Mal brushed past me as he went to her first, holding out his arms. A sound that could have been a sob quickly swallowed emanated from her throat, and then she was half running into Mal's embrace. He caught and held her close, burying his face in her hair while she spilled tears on his shirtfront. Her hands clutched the material of that shirt as if he was her lifeline. 

I watched in bewilderment as they stood there clinging to each other. After a bit Mal lifted his head and shoved back strands of Kaylee's hair that clung damply to her face. 

Sniffing noisily she said, "I love my Captain." 

"I love you, too, mei mei." 

Then she stared at me with an expression I could only describe as regretful, and turned and walked out of the infirmary. I looked at Mal. 

"Care to tell me what that was all about?" 

He didn't answer with words. He just gazed steadily at me until comprehension finally dawned. I thought of how Kaylee's normally sunny disposition always brightened to the proportions of a sun going nova whenever I had pulled out her chair at the table, or how she seemed to thrive on a kind word from me. 

"How could I be so stupid?" I muttered. "I never even thought about her feelings. I never meant to hurt her." 

"She understands." He rubbed my shoulder and then pulled me into his arms. For someone who tended to hold people at arm's length emotionally he was quite the hugger. "I think she started to come to terms with it last night." 

Zoe appeared in the doorway. "Cap'n, Wash said to tell you we're coming up on the moon." 

"Thanks, Zoe." She glanced between the two of us and allowed a tiny smirk to grace her lips before she left. Mal asked me, "Are you still planning on coming with us?" 

"Yes," I said firmly. 

"All right then. Let's go." 

# 

Karl turned out to be a turtle. Not literally, of course, but he was a slow moving man. He even spoke slowly. Listening to his steady monotone I found myself growing drowsy. It was hot on Raknur's Moon, which did not help either. In order to stay awake I concentrated on watching Mal and ignored Karl. 

We were seated in a saloon - why were these meetings always held in saloons? I had cautioned Mal not to drink alcohol, as it would counteract the painkiller I'd given him for his headache. Yet there he was with a mug of beer in front of him. He hadn't tasted it yet, though, so maybe it was just for show. He shifted restlessly in his seat a couple of times. It could have been because of Karl droning on endlessly, but since I knew that Mal was not feeling well I was hyper-aware of his fidgeting. All sorts of things raced through my mind as I tried to figure out why he was doing it. I caught Zoe watching him, too, and she assessed him in her silent way. 

He changed position again and glanced at me. He shook his head once and I knew he was warning me off from making a fuss. How could I not fuss? A thin line of sweat was dampening his hairline and trickled down his temple. I stretched out my right arm laying it across the back of his chair. I did a quick surreptitious feel of his back and noted the sweat-soaked material of his shirt between his shoulder blades. He sat back and trapped my hand between him and the chair, holding me there to make sure I got the message. As soon as he sat forward enough for me to free myself I removed my hand and glared at the back of his head. 

Karl rambled on. 

After about thirty minutes Mal got up indicating he would return shortly. I watched him head for the back of the room where the washrooms were. Knowing it would look bad I got up and followed him. Zoe lifted a questioning eyebrow and I shrugged in response. At that point I wasn't sure why he had left. If it was the virus I wanted to find out right away. If it was the call of nature I could live with the embarrassment. Someone whistled suggestively. 

I twisted the doorknob as I stepped forward only to bump into the door when it remained closed. Locked. 

I knocked. 

"Mal? Are you all right?" I waited a moment and called again. "Mal? Please answer me." 

"Be right out," came the response. 

He sounded okay but I stayed where I was until he emerged a couple of minutes later. He saw me and stopped to wait for me to finish studying his countenance. He looked all right. Well, no worse than he had earlier. The ends of his hair were a little wet - probably from washing his face. 

"Satisfied?" he asked grumpily. 

"For now." 

Giving me a sour look he led the way back to the table. 

Karl droned on and we were no closer to a deal than we had been at the start. 

After twenty minutes Mal excused himself again. I jumped up and followed him to the washroom again. More whistles. 

The door slammed in my face so once more I was forced to wait outside until Mal came out. This time I grabbed his wrist and checked his pulse. It was racing. 

"What's wrong? What are your symptoms?" 

He started to deny that he had any but then he got a good look at my face. 

The fight seeped out of him. Not all of it but enough for him to accept that I was going to beleaguer him until he confessed. 

"Feeling kinda sick," he admitted finally. 

"Nauseous?" 

"Yeah." His right hand fluttered over his abdomen and then dropped to his side. I noted that his fingers clenched into a fist and relaxed repeatedly. 

"Anything else?" I fired off, which was a mistake. Mal's expression tightened. 

"Headache's gone." 

I placed my palm on his forehead and he suffered the attention. It was warm but not overly so. In fact, he felt less feverish than he had earlier on Serenity's bridge. I puzzled over that while he took advantage of my distraction to return to the table. 

Karl regarded the both of us with impatience. Coming from him I took it as an insult but refrained from saying so. Zoe looked bored nearly to tears. What she must have had to endure in our absence. A look passed between her and Mal and he nodded. 

"Could we wrap this up?" Mal asked of Karl. "I hate to rush ya but my crew has to eat. If we're not gonna do business me and mine will just move on and look for work someplace else." 

I was shocked. Surely Mal had just blown our chances. On the other side of him Zoe's eyes were wide with surprise, too. 

Karl took a minute to consider Mal's words. Finally he said, "If you and your boyfriend have satisfied your basic needs perhaps we can continue our dialogue?" 

I held my tongue even though I wanted to set him straight in his insinuations. After all, I had asked for it by trotting after Mal both times when he went to the washroom. 

Mal nodded. "You know me, Karl. Can't get enough of the good stuff." 

"Hey!" I wasn't exactly upset with him for the backhanded compliment but I didn't like being referred to like a piece of meat. And I absolutely did not like Karl for bringing out whatever part of Mal's personality had caused him to say such a thing. 

Mal shot me a look. It said, "Don't say a word." 

I fumed silently. Mal knew this cretin. I didn't. Thankfully. 

The rest of the meeting dragged on with more droning and more fidgeting. Mal kept still but Zoe and I squirmed a lot. I don't know about her but I did it to keep from falling asleep. It was now almost five hours since we had arrived, and if we were any closer to wrapping up this excruciating event I had missed it. 

And then I heard the magic words. "So it's a deal." Even Mal looked stunned but only momentarily and then he grinned, but his smile was brittle around the edges and I went on alert. I watched as he rose carefully and reached across the table to shake on the deal. Karl's fingers tightened around Mal's hand and pumped it a few times; solid movements that jerked Mal's entire arm. Mal went white and he gasped. 

"You okay, Reynolds?" 

Quickly regaining his composure Mal nodded tightly. "We'll be back in the morning to load the cargo." 

He headed for the door. Walking behind him I noticed the stiff set of his shoulders and back. Zoe frowned and glanced at me. I mouthed, "He's sick" to her and then spread my hands to indicate that I didn't know much more than that. 

She mouthed, "Fever?" and pointed at me. I nodded and then tried to tell her I wasn't sure. She got the message and set her attention back on him. 

Mal had to be hurting not to notice our silent exchange. Usually he had finely honed radar about such things. He simply walked down the street at a slow but steady pace. 

And then he stopped so abruptly that Zoe crashed into him causing him to stumble forward. I saw him hunch over and rub at his stomach so I stepped around him and Zoe and went to his side. He was ashen and his eyes met mine with a wide-eyed, startled expression. 

"Mal? Talk to me. Tell me what's happening," I said with more control than I felt. Inside I was shaking. He looked awful. Sweat stood out on his forehead and his complexion was rapidly turning a grayish-greenish hue. 

He didn't answer me but a low moan ground out through his gritted teeth. 

"Don't feel so good." 

My heart leapt in my chest at his admission. I knew what it must have cost him with his stupid, stubborn pride to utter such a statement. 

"It's okay. We'll get you back to the ship and fix you right up." I hoped. I really didn't like his colour. I turned to Zoe and pulled her away a foot or so before whispering, "We have to get him to the ship _now_." 

"What do you think is wrong?" 

"Could be the same illness I had but I don't remember any real pain, just nausea and fever and some disorientation." 

Just then Mal doubled over clutching his abdomen and cursing loudly. 

"Simon, my belly's on fire," he groaned. 

I hurried back to him. 

"Sit down here," I ordered, indicating some steps at the end of the wooden sidewalk. The fact that he didn't protest worried me. He sat down and I gently pushed him to a reclining position. I quickly prodded his tender stomach causing him to yell loudly in Chinese and try to shove me away. 

"Are you tryin' to kill me?" 

"I'm so sorry, Mal. I didn't mean to hurt you but I had to find out what's wrong." 

"What is wrong?" Zoe asked. She looked scared. "You never did that." 

"I'd have to do some blood tests to be sure," I began. 

She interrupted me. "Your best guess." 

Meeting her dark eyes I said, "I think it's appendicitis. We have to get him to Serenity now." 

"There must be a doctor's office or even a clinic here in town." 

"We don't know that and there's no time to ask around. Besides, the infirmary has everything I need if we get him there in time." 

"What do you mean "in time"?" 

"I only meant that the appendix might burst." 

"And if it does?" 

"I'll operate. I'd rather do it in a sterile environment I'm familiar with." 

I could see her assess the situation and come to a decision. "We can't call the ship so's Wash can come pick us up. It's up to us to get the Captain back." 

"Let's go." 

We reached down and each took an arm. There was minimal complaint from Mal. In fact, he was too quiet. Apparently, walking was all he had energy for and he leaned on us to accomplish it. 

Even though we hurried as best we could it was still too slow for me and too fast for Mal who was panting from the pain. Every few feet he would bend over in agony. I knew that if the appendix hadn't already burst it would very soon. 

And then angels arrived in the form of Jayne Cobb and Shepherd Book who were strolling towards us. When they spotted us they hurried over. 

I quickly explained the situation, cutting short the flurry of questions. "He needs to get back to the ship immediately!" 

Jayne had been eyeing Mal with a great deal of concern, not taking his gaze off him. Then he said, "Zoe, Shepherd, grab his feet. We'll carry him." 

Jayne gathered Mal to him sliding his hands under his shoulders. Mal weakly tried to fight off his protectors. "No-oo..." 

Jayne whispered, "Shush. We'll get you home and the Doc can fix you up good." The three of them lifted him and began to hurry. 

I was torn between staying with my patient and running ahead to get more help. Finally, unable to stand the too-slow pace, I replaced Zoe at Mal's left leg. 

"Run ahead and get the mule. This is too slow." She took off at a dead run. 

I murmured calming nonsensical phrases to Mal as we stumbled along, worrying that the uneven pace was too hard on him. It seemed like ages before Zoe and Wash arrived with the mule. The big-wheeled vehicle bounced over a small rise and roared up, braking in a cloud of dust. We loaded Mal onto the mule and everybody climbed on. How we all fit I'd never know. Wash manhandled the vehicle across the terrain and just like that we were back at Serenity. Four of us carried Mal into the ship and got him to the infirmary, passing Inara, Kaylee and River as we went. The three of them wore identical expressions of concern. 

In my own familiar territory at last, I set to work. 

# 

I jerked awake to the sound of Mal's voice saying my name. 

"...you, Simon." 

I slipped off the other bed and went to him. 

"What did you say?" I asked softly, but he was still out. I sat beside him for a while, brushing the hair off his forehead and thinking once again that he looked so very young and sweet when he was asleep. 

# 

"Simon." 

Something warm drifted across my face, bringing me out of a light doze. 

I lifted my head. Mal gazed back at me, his fingers still stroking my cheek. 

"Hi," I said. 

"You wake?" His words were a little slurred telling me that he hadn't been conscious very long. 

"Shouldn't that be my question to you? I am the doctor here." 

"I'm Captain," he said firmly. 

Grinning, I replied, "Yes, you are." Then I remembered the circumstances that had brought us here and I sobered. Straightening up so that his hand fell away I said, "And you are one of the most stubborn men I have ever met in my life. You could have died, Mal. Your appendix burst before we got you back here. You could have died!" 

I gulped back the whimper that was in the back of my throat and swallowed the sudden, surprising, and embarrassing urge to cry. A couple of sniffles escaped anyhow. 

"Simon...?" 

I swiped my hand under my leaking nose and, appalled at what I had just done and thinking that Jayne had rubbed off on me, I got up in search of a tissue. I blew my nose, wiped my eyes, and tossed the tissues into the waste bin before stopping right there to stare at Mal from across the room. 

"C'mere," he beckoned, looking so weak that I had no choice but to obey. "S'wrong?" 

"Didn't you hear me?" 

He stopped me before I could start ranting again and worked hard to speak clearly. "I'm here. Thanks to you." 

"Thanks to me might be why your appendix got infected," I said miserably. 

"How so?" 

"Sometimes the appendix becomes inflamed due to a virus. It's possible that you caught my illness and it impacted on your appendix." 

"Know that for a fact?" 

"Well, no." 

"Then don't fret." 

Simple as that; I was forgiven and Mal's eyes were closing as he lost his fight to stay awake. As if it had a mind of it's own, his hand groped around on top of the blanket, searching. His fingers wrapped around mine and he slept. 

An adorable smile graced his lips as he drifted off, and I contemplated my use of the word "adorable". I had it bad. 

# end


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